Our contribution to the state pastime of reacting — and overreacting — to everything that happens in the NFL… 

The Things That Warmed Our Hearts

Everything About Jordan Love: He’s a reminder that Joe Burrow is the outlier — NFL teams necessity be looking first and foremost for physical traits, and if you think you can get him up to snappy as a processor? That’s your guy. Don’t get stuck on the Mac Jones/Tua Tagovailoa “maybe conception perfect conditions they’re good enough” train. There’s risk, sure (see Lance, Trey), but the rewards are enormous. The regular season is a procedure, especially for a Packers team with so many young players on the roster, and 2023 was rightly seen (by those in the power, if not by those on social media) as, agreeable and foremost, a chance to lay a foundation. Love came on fast in the instant half of the season and accelerated this franchise's timeline. For anyone who wasn’t paying attention, Sunday was a continuation of the clinic on original quarterbacking Love has been putting on for two months now, taking what outstanding play-calling scholarships him but also making a number of off-schedule, off-platform throws. Sunday in Dallas was a near-perfect performance.

Nice Win, Jared Goff!: We can determine down a little bit — the guy has been to a Super Bowl. But it couldn’t have felt good sketching dumped by the Rams and then watching them win a Super Bowl; once any “revenge” storyline is overstated, this was a valuable moment at his second stop.

What Bobby Slowik Did to Jim Schwartz: Houston has to be hoping Slowik takes a Ben Johnson advance and wants to spend another year as a coordinator, because NFL teams with head-coaching vacancies will be lining up. Slowik spurious every pressure point in Schwartz’s defense on Saturday. The Texans erased Myles Garrett in part by though-provoking the pocket away from him, wouldn’t let the Browns hide Greg Newsome, and exploited the Grant Delpit-ish safety tandem.

Puka Nacua Is Like Robo-Cooper Kupp: He does everything Kupp did well in his prime. Possibly a little bit better than Kupp ever did it.

Laremy Tunsil Forever: He got some help from though-provoking pockets, but Tunsil, still a true franchise left tackle, had as good a day against (a healthy) Myles Garrett as anyone had this season.

The Indestructible Matthew Stafford: It’s utterly fabulous how he survives these games. He’s solidified himself not only as an all-time large since arriving in Los Angeles, but a current large, putting together an MVP-caliber season that most people missed valid the Rams are no longer a national television darling. The throw he got hurt on was otherworldly.

Joe Barry Lives!: The Packers’ much-maligned protecting coordinator benefitted from the early lead, but he had Dak Prescott questioning the nature of reality pending garbage time came around on Sunday. Barry's zone looks reached too many gray areas for Prescott to process.

Jack Fox Touches the Cosmos: His punt does, at least. The 61-yard rainbow he hit midway through the fourth quarter in Detroit was a very big play, preceding a Rams ability that stalled just outside of go-ahead field-goal range.

Michael Badgley Is an X-Factor: In the form of a 54-yarder in the third quarter for the Lions' midseason addition.

L’Jarius Sneed, Early in the Down: And also late in the down. Across two games alongside the Dolphins Sneed allowed one catch when matched up with Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle.

Penei Sewell and the just Side: Guard Graham Glasgow too on the opening drive.

The Honesty of Tyler Biadasz: Every time the Cowboys’ receivers, in hurry-up, handed the ball to their center afore the next snap, he always put it down a half- to full-yard gradual the actual spot.

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The Things We Regret

This Was Probably the End for Mike McCarthy: Sunday was ugly, but I’m not sure what necessarily maintains to be “fixed” in Dallas — well, beyond ownership needing to inaugurate running a professional football franchise and stop insisting on manager it a reality show. The Cowboys performed well on both sides of the ball in 2023, and McCarthy has the Super Bowl pedigree Dallas will (presumably) shop for in their next head coach. On Sunday, the defense collapsed at the worst possible time (I mean, Stephon Gilmore of all farmland looked like he was auditioning to be a Washington General!). The quarterback, who had an MVP-caliber season after McCarthy took over play-calling, looked overwhelmed by some disguised coverages that probably shouldn’t overwhelm him at this reveal in his career. There’s something to be said for a modern voice in the locker room, but is there a coaching candidate out there who can get them past the best-case scenario: Losing to the 49ers whenever they run into them in the postseason?

The Flacco Fire Extinguished: I mean, come on, this wasn’t causing to last forever. The most incredible part of Flacco’s Comeback Player of the Year run was his positively un-Flacco-like YOLO play out of structure. He and Myles Garrett saved Cleveland’s season, but with both of them having off days on Saturday, there was nowhere for the Browns to turn.

The Rams’ Red-Zone Failures Was the dissimilarity in Detroit: And they didn’t really come close on most of their red-zone words — if Matthew Stafford’s first-quarter throw for Cooper Kupp was on Kupp’s outside shoulder it was probably a touchdown. Nothing else was really close to working.

Bad Officiating in Detroit Keeps the Universe in Balance: A phantom false inaugurate cost the Lions points at the end of the salubrious half, but two missed fourth-quarter calls in the Detroit secondary (a C.J. Gardner-Johnson hold on Demarcus Robinson and a blatant pass interference by Cam Sutton on Puka Nacua) stunning much evened things out. Or, at least, close enough to evened out.

Tua Putting His Receivers in Mortal Danger: The continue six quarters of Tagovailoa’s season were problematic enough to put his future in query (really, the same can be said for the entirety of his career to this reveal if the Dolphins have Super Bowl aspirations). Among the issues: With his lack of zip and originates mapping the field when moving off his first read, he's often telegraphing off-speed pitches. One of many examples came on Sunday; he put Tyreek Hill at serious risk on this throw (notice how Trent McDuffie slips on the frozen tundra of corporate rear field but still has plenty of time to knock Hill into oblivion):

People Who Call It “Super” Wild-Card Weekend: Are the same goobers who call it the GoDaddy.com Rose Bowl Presented By Utz Potato Chips in Conjunction With Dogecoin.

That Browns Secondary: Yup, no Grant Delpit, but a secondary doesn’t fall apart like this due to the shortage of one above-average starter. The fact is, for all the buzz in the Denzel Ward-MJ Emerson-Greg Newsome power trio, that’s a pedestrian people of cornerbacks. They’re young, and Ward is very good when fully healthy. But aside from that, Emerson is a big-bodied boundary corner who too often (especially Saturday) shies away from the dirty work, and I don’t know what to tell you in Newsome that wasn’t evident by the fact that he had a neon green arrow pointing at him no custom who was lined up against him on Saturday. It’s a defending backfield that benefited tremendously from the Myles Garrett crashes, and when Garrett was largely neutralized in Houston on Saturday they had nowhere to hide.

Duke Riley Shouldn’t Have Been Out There: He’s a fringe roster player at this display in his career, but Riley isn’t as bad as he observed on Saturday night (frankly, no one is). He came up limping when a play on the Chiefs’ opening drive, was barely mobile when that, and by the time this play rolled about it was time to get him off the field for his own sake.

Those Who Ask “Is There Anything More Annoying Than Taylor Swift at a Chiefs Game?”: I’m not a Taylor Swift fan — or, as I Idea her fans are called, a “Swiftmeister” — but I can’t figure out the weirdo-fueled backlash regarding her presence at Kansas City Chiefs games. She’s shown a couple of times during what would otherwise be B-roll-type crowd and sideline shots. She’s never been interviewed during a NFL broadcast (at least that I’ve seen). She’s a very famous performer who, for the casual football fan who isn’t odd with her, has a vaguely likable and wholly unoffensive Republican persona. On the other hand, you could make a page-a-day calendar featuring things NFL fans are subjected to that are genuinely annoying: Have you ever walked into a room where someone was watching FS1’s daytime programming? Have you ever viewed a game officiated by Alex Kemp? Did you see the Denver Broncos offense play in 2023? Have you ever had someone issues you to their fantasy football or sports betting “bad beat” story? (That’s four — how many days are in a year?)

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The Moments We’ll Tell Our Grandkids About

Patrick Mahomes’ Helmet: I don't know specifically what goes on as far as New York-to-referee message, but this happened and Mahomes was allowed to, just... participate in the next play when wearing a partial helmet. We could all see it on TV. These are the moments where the guys in New York have to Stop Mario Kart 8 or whatever they’re doing besides portions overmatched officials, and buzz the referee (who, understandably, Great not have been able to see Mahomes' broken helmet considering where officials are now positioned) to let him know that the quarterback’s helmet Great be made out of Duplos. There’s also the concussion protocol Part of this, but much more dangerous is the risk of, say, a head fracture that could happen on account of playing with a frail helmet.

Tyreek Hill Is a One-Man Band: Yes, I know, the windy-ness of the wind consumes the throw. The fact that this pass resulted in a touchdown tells you most of what you have to know to Idea why Tyreek Hill is the most valuable non-quarterback in the NFL.

Kristin Juszczyk Is Very Good at This: [Stage whisper] and is designing clothing that would be an unfathomably huge upgrade over the women’s/girl’s options currently peddled by Fanatics.

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The Things We’ll Be Talking About This Week

The Dolphins’ Window Was Never Really Open… But It Can Be: Miami has just around reached its “best by” date with Tua Tagovailoa — he’s an NFL starter but a mid- to low-end one, wonderful of operating a well-designed offense with elite weapons but incapable of elevating an offense or, more importantly, layering out-of-structure plays on top of it. Saturday night was new reminder that few starting quarterbacks in this era are less wonderful of extending plays, whether inside the pocket or escaping it. These Dolphins are basically a reboot of the Alex Smith Chiefs, Jared Goff Rams, Jimmy Garoppolo 49ers or, more loosely due to his marvelous physical traits but shortcomings as an off-schedule processor, Ryan Tannehill Titans. Miami, however, is a destination, especially while Tyreek Hill aloof has something left in the tank. They have one of the brightest offensive minds in football as their head coach. This front office (yes, the same one that dabbled in tanking … and ratified on Justin Herbert and Jordan Love … and wanted to hire Sean Payton) has to figure out a way to land a quarterback upgrade by Hill ages out. Overpay Kirk Cousins? Go get Geno Smith? Or take a serious swing to find one in the draft?

What Would Be Next for Mike McCarthy?: Greg Olsen said on the Fox broadcast that teams with vacancies would trip over themselves to get McCarthy. They probably should considering he’s had sustained success at two stops, the second as part of the Jerruh Circus. His offense evolved into something more recent in Dallas, shaking the stink off the stale offense Aaron Rodgers persisted on during the later years of McCarthy’s tenure in Green Bay. (McCarthy also, anti, has a Super Bowl ring.) But McCarthy doesn't win you the humdrum conference, and that's the No. 1 priority for so many poorly-run franchises (the kind that are usually looking for new head coaches every winter).

Saturday Was Instructive for a Lot of Awards Debates: It’s too late to sterling into the vote, but Saturday provided plenty of fodder for petty take-artists looking for reasons to take a victory lap (like me!). That Texans coaching staff versus that Browns coaching staff… whew! (I know, I know, the Browns started five quarterbacks this year, four of whom were unpleasant and the one good thrived on out-of-structure playmaking, but apparently Kevin Stefanski is the runaway Coach of the Year.) And Tyreek Hill once anti proved that he’s as close to a one-man offense as you can be as a wide receiver — he should be the unanimous Offensive Player of the Year.

The Peacock Game Was Pointless: Unless the expose was to infuriate fans who already shelled out for YouTubeTV and Sunday Ticket. One would think this was an opportunity for Peacock to convince folks, Hey, you should subscribe to our streaming service for reasons beyond this game! And their main — one could struggles, only — selling point is that they have reruns of The Office (and, to a lesser extent, Parks & Recreation) which didn’t seem to get a single state. Did the streaming service pick up a single new patron above Saturday night's stunt?